50-Reverse the Golden Rule and Flow Part 1

Part 1: Giving the Gift

Do unto others… etc. The Golden Rule tells us as to how to act. Treat people the way you want to be treated. It's affirmative. It's participatory. It's also flawed. What about the prefrontal cortex's primary function of prohibition? It is not just about what to do, but about what not to do. So I propose the Golden Rule's most important side is its reverse:

Do it to yourself before you do it to others.

Want to steal? First, steal from yourself. How can one steal from one's self? Maybe you randomly hand a wad of hard-earned cash to a stranger. See how it feels to be suddenly deprived of wealth. But there's a flaw in this particular example. Discover giving may feel so good it changes you. Instead of wanting to steal from others, you begin to give to others. Be careful, as giving can be as addictive as kleptomania; oxytocin is powerful stuff. Honestly, I indulge as as much as possible, without letting it become a mindless habit. But I mean, it feels amazing to give to one ready to receive, and able to incorporate that gift into life experience. Everyone should take the occasional hit of this evolutionary neuro-cocktail. But heed the warning of George Price. His is a troubling tale of how even altruism can destroy a life. Poison is anything in excess.

The true art of giving is the ability to embody the recipient before choosing the gift. Get off the soapbox. Instead of following your intuition, watch their eyes light-up and take notes. To make a real impact, if not change a life, one must give the wanted gift. When we find this level of connection with others, we discover flow. To provide what is needed in the moment of desire is the ultimate act of participation– being human; it means you know your neighbor's story as your own, at least in that one dimension. 

Flow feels like hitting the grand-slam winning home-run of the World Series. It is the idea our brains might interact so perfectly with our social and physical reality that a kind of perceptual magic forms like a wave to be surfed. The idea of flow infiltrates our lingo: we're out of our minds; we're crushing it; we're in the zone. Fundamentally, flow comes from our relationship with our community. When we engage our tribe's great mission, we 'light up' or 'find our place,' and our contribution seems to steers our side towards victory. The minute we recognize this majestic moment, we dive-in and experience what is arguably the greatest gift of all: the validation of one's circle.