48-The Right Side of Zombie Logic

The Right Side of Zombie Logic: How to Beat the Plague of Gay Marriage

The right side of the brain inspires creativity, timeless devotion, grand ideas, intuitive assumptions. Zombie logic is the mindless repetition of an agenda (in the case of actual zombies, the desire to eat brains). The right side of the political isle is full of many fine people but also harbors the ideologies of entitled capitalists, religious zealots, apocalyptic conspiracists, xenophobic separatists, and violent campaigners. 

When all the bad parts of the Right coalesce like a perfect storm over the center of the country, a few, irascible, paranoid crusaders spill forth tidal-waves of twisted, repetitive, scatterbrain rants; what I call the Right side of zombie logic.

The Right's continued fight against the right of marriage (not marriage equality, not anymore), reminds me of the Sea Squirt. What does the Sea Squirt do once it finds a home and no longer maneuvers through the dynamic world of compromise and reposition? It eats its own brain – the perfect candidate for zombie logic. Disgusted with the fate facing them, many on the Right refuse to enter the five stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. Why? It doesn't apply; let the Coasts do whatever they want, but here? Not here. This is more than simply denial; this is entitlement. That's the beauty of their position: the law doesn't apply when you're Right. 

They see themselves as the true victims – zombie logic. They want us to believe the ruling violates their religious rights. What rights? The right to assemble? The right of privacy, of worship, of donation? The right of tax-exempt status? No. They believe they have the right to live in a world where gay people cannot marry. As Islamic terrorists interpret Koranic vagaries to justify their desire to create a religious caliphate, cleansed of the infidel, the Christian fundamentalist use Biblical vagaries to fuel their fight to establish an America, freed from sinners. Neither of these realities are acceptable to the rest of us. And in this particular point, they have no standing. No one is forcing any private individual or religious institution to participate. The ruling specifically exempts Father So-And-So from conducting nuptials that violate his sense of morality. 

In the '60s when civil-rights legislation swept the Nation and the Federal Government made it clear to the states the law of the land would be implemented by the National Guard, Mississippi resisted integration by closing all public swimming pools. Before this happened, it got real ugly. People were poisoned in pools. After this happened, lawsuits challenged the closures. But the courts upheld Mississippi's right because on-demand swimming is not Constitutional.

Marriage is.

That's the difference. It is no longer marriage equality. Marriage is a right, not the state of equality among citizens. Counties throughout the South are refusing to marry non-traditional couples on religious grounds. In an official capacity, the county-clerk's religion doesn't apply as they are not paid to be a county-clerk by their religion but their government – fundamentally separate from all religion. There are no conflicting rights because there is no Constitutional right of employment. They can no more refuse the right of marriage for a lesbian couple as an interracial couple, an infertile couple, or what they perceive to be any number of inappropriate couples. This is not gay marriage or even LGBT marriage; this is all kinds of marriage. It is the right of any two consenting adults to marry under the laws of these United States. There is no valid grounds for discrimination. These clerks can no more refuse to license the marriage of Steve to Steward as Steward's right to license the profitable, lawful sell of a firearm to Steve. The right to a legally recognized, lifelong union is no less subject to abridgment as the right to pack excessive heat. In the real world, when someone is either unwilling or unable to perform their job, they're fired.

These zombies are pounding their brainless heads against a very hard wall. Unlike the '60s, we have a black President who will not hesitate to implement minority rights. And in their destructive resistance, the zombies leave taxpayers on the hook. This is not Roe V Wade; there are no unclaimed rights of magical people; this is the twenty-teens; this is the moment we finally grow up. There will be no long, drawn-out war over this issue. There are no grounds, no harm, no interest. The Court was clear. 

If you disagree, you're old. Public opinion moves at an unprecedented rate. As a last-ditch effort, the zombies cling to precious votes, cast in a different time to pass, unconstitutional, state amendments. They fervently parade this withering image about and cry over the injustice of these aborted voices while we watch their fury fade into history. Who supports those initiatives today? Take a poll. These pathetic warriors slowly retreat into their narrow burrows and may tilt at passing windmills until they are no more. Sad. 

I do not doubt these zombies, with their creative, dedicated, timeless minds, will find ways to rage against the machine of inevitable change, eternally increasing the price we all pay. I call this Zombie Masturbation. Examples: Jim Crow, prosecution of sodomy, redlining, Selma, the Stonewall riots, voter ID … I could go on; the cakewalk has many layers. Their hateful distractions leave no more legacy than the expensive soil of their vile ejaculate. Who else profits from their behavior but them? Sometimes self-gratification lasts decades, sometimes mere months. But life goes on. They too will eventually grow weary and enter the five stages of grief. Thought forgiveness is personal, let us be compassionate for this painful journey of change. Although they may never face their prejudice or treat other as they would want to be treated, their depression will end with a level of acceptance. So let us acknowledge their new position, for we still have brains and hearts that remember our own transgressions, our own paths of learning; we all, after all, are human. 

The fight for legal love in places like Ireland and America has ended but continues everywhere else. As with all forms of prejudice, humanity struggles to mature. At last, the country who most prides itself upon individual choice once again shines its light onto the world. Let us embrace this example of the freedom to love and support those who continue to struggle for this basic, human right.