35-The Arrogance of Two Men Kissing in Public

After the recent Pride Parade, I was discussing the local news reporting with a friend who is both from the Baby-Boomer generation and an ardent supporter of equal rights. She lamented the typical coverage: a focus on the most flamboyant elements. She marched. She saw the diversity. She wished a broader representation of the crowd would be aired. She hates the media's obsession with the more outrageous characters in attendance. She described a few ripe examples. She admitted feeling embarrassed by them and worried they would make the news. From what I'd seen, I didn't recognize a single one, although I agreed a fair share of time was devoted to the spectacle. Then, I told her about a new angle: interviews with other participants: children, parents, and even her contemporaries. Progress. So I countered with a question: why do you think they dress that way to begin with?

When you've spent your life in the closet and finally come out, you don't want to simply live without shame, what you really want is to never be ignored and marginalized again. Their dress is not a cry for help or even for attention. It is a loud metaphor of their right to be human in light of the fact that their very existence shocks some. LGBT love is just as outrageous to the haters as the outfits; hate is the sole responsibility of the hater. The costumes exist to illuminate prejudice towards the 'other,' the 'outsider.'

During this last NFL draft, two men kissed (with celebratory affection) on national television and created a defining moment in history, a litmus-test for those many, macho, football-fans watching. In Western culture, few things exist that are more socially unsettling to the ignorant mind than two men kissing. A straight couple would not have raised an eyebrow while lesbians may have been palatable. Men of sport are symbols of strength while love is vulnerable. The bigot was perplexed by this visual paradox while even the advocate may still feel unsettled by the incident. Fact is, two men kissing in public didn't hurt anyone. It's not like these two men kissed and magically some poor witness was struck with a literal black eye. They are not the ones forcing their lifestyle on others nor are they corrupting the youth by sharing a beautiful moment. If it bothers you, don't stare.

Public displays of affection, no matter the participants, can rise to the level of making anyone a little nauseous. We aren't bonobos. We don't have intercourse in public. On the other hand, the next time you see two men kiss in that simple, public way any couple might, pay close attention to how it makes you feel. Realize, that uneasy feeling is your problem, not theirs, and then get over yourself. Remember, there is a difference between affection and sex. The future tends towards equality and it goes without saying that the following generations will think nothing of this. And when we reach that point, the world will be a better place because two men kissing in public will no longer be a demonstration of equal rights but instead nothing special, except of course for those two men.

Even if we support equal rights, how do we conquer our lingering prejudices? In simple moments. Victory is tearing-up at a great Hollywood Ending, only this time the couple that kisses and lives happily-ever-after are two men.