45-The Planet's First Peace-Treaty

How and why did marriage get started; where is it going?

Part 2: The Treaty and the Future

In the beginning, the tribe was the nuclear unit, lead by a mixture of charisma and consensus. Tribes are powerful social units that can overcome great challenges. The political power possessed by the individual was bestowed by the collective. Growing evidence suggests a tight-nit group of mature women made most of the leadership decisions. Why? Because the networked, female brain is better suited to deal with the complex dynamics of inter-tribal relationships and the subtle cycles of nature. Women kept the peace and found the food.

As human populations increased, inevitable conflict followed. War. More and more of the choices faced by the tribe were better suited for the male point of view. A fact of war: the most effective force is lead by a single voice. The detailed stories from the inner-circle were drowned-out by the war-chief's urgent words. And thus, the sole leader was born. To cement their place, men created the exclusivity of religious hierarchy to both account for their victories and defeats while simultaneously subjugating the previous leadership. As the greatest threat to man became his fellow man, the tribe transformed, both internally and externally.

I don't see the first marriage as anything romantic; it was more like a simple peace treaty. Imagine a group of male hunters from tribe A. They stumble upon a group of female gatherers from tribe B. A absconds with B. Later, warriors from B run into A and demand the return of their daughters. Countering, A proposes to B: instead, how about a few cows? B likes the bargain and transfers ownership of the women to A – the planet's first peace-treaty. To take this a step further, the first honeymoon was when the leaders of A and B faced the marauding horde: C. A and B joined forces and together defeated C. The peace-treaty became the defense-pact.

And so, tribes consolidated to form city-states. But the social structure of the tribe is devastating to a cohesive, well-ordered city. Their internal strength, fidelity, and unique heritage made them unruly and destructive. Governments shattered tribes into social groups such as families, guilds, classes, and faiths, leaving the state better able to control the masses while simultaneously leaving the individuals increasingly dependent on the state. Tribes no longer possessed resources. The powerful elite claimed the right of property. In order to have property, ownership must be understood. Ownership is defined by us, the landlords, and them, the serfs and usurpers. To fix the family as the fundamental unit of the city-state, ownership of women became that of the husband. Marriage transformed again, becoming a method of moving wealth among the hierarchy of men. And thus, the mighty, long-lived kleptocracy was born.

Today, we witness the death of the city-state, reborn as the global-state. Because marriage is an institution of the state, it disintegrates along side the state. As our social groups expand beyond the family, the neighborhood, and the religious community, we are creating multidimensional neo-tribes. Social media is forming a new definition of what it means to belong. The nuclear family reconfigures at the quantum level, creating new forms of matter beyond the atom. The only way marriage will survive is if it adapts. Though we can only speculate as to the benefits and costs of its future form, its core value will remain the legal rights afforded to its willing participants. Reproduction and wealth are no longer the cornerstones of marriage. The differences between individuals comprising the modern union rises far beyond sexual roles. The ancient, tribal characteristics of fidelity, refuge, history, culture, and common-ground are reemerging as the foundations of marriage. Sharing the burden of life is the new definition of family.

44-The Planet's First Peace-Treaty

How and why did marriage get started; where is it going?

Part 1: It Takes Two to Tango

One might see the defining difference between men and women as physical: men are bigger and harder, built for war; women are smaller and softer, built for home. Although this stereotype does not help us understand where marriage came from, it speaks to the death of this sacred institution and rebirth as a social arraignment. Supple, stay-at-home dads and fierce, breadwinner moms bust the mold and redefine the terms.

The sexes frame reality differently. Take the concept of time. Ancient Greeks call the two types chronos [male] and kairos [female]. Chronos is synchronous or sequential while kairos is asynchronous or event-driven. Chronos is the hands of a clock; kairos, the right moment to speak-up. Men are driven by immediate goals and long-term priorities. Women are concerned about relationship status and living conditions. Men think linear, moving from one point to the next. Women think parallel, balancing endless points into a narrative of meaning. But when it comes to the individual, each mind is a mixture, a unique proportion, of both.

By the middle of the twentieth century, male dominance lost its footing. The ideal of a male head-of-house was seen for the failure it is. A unified head-of-house with each parent reinforcing the same values promotes health. It is both irrational and illogical to say that one mindset is better than the other unless one is comparing that mindset to specifics states or tasks. Life is complicated. The concept of 'better' is based on the idea that ideals exist. Only those with agendas have ideals. The concept that sex determines effective leadership is no more true than age determines wisdom. Wisdom does not come from experience alone; wisdom is the pruning and molding of behavior based upon learning from experience. As a species, we continue to seek that wisdom.

Nature provides sexual difference because it is genetically and evolutionarily advantageous. Two perspectives work together to create effective leadership the way two hands hold a baby. They do not hold the baby in the exact same spot and often come from opposing sides; but they have the same goal: don't drop the baby. Just as holding the infant with a single hand is riskier than two, the potential for family discord increases when a single voice reigns. The ability to adapt comes from diversity and flexibility. Consider the role of smell in physical attraction. What makes a person smell good or bad? The immune system. People with similar immune systems do not smell as good to us as people with divergent immune systems. Nature has written into our very sense of preference the predisposition of diversity.

Marriage is much more complicated than how we differ from each other, physically, mentally, or whether either or both of us has a 'Y' chromosome. Marriage is a contract among members of a group to define the atomic or indivisible unit of society. It resolves the world into parent/children pixels. Considering the span of human existence, the nuclear family is a recent innovation. Even the idea that children belong to the pair of genetic donors only came into being once tribes coalesced into larger populations. Prehistoric children belonged to the tribe and the elders raised them. Mothers and fathers were typically post-adolescent, children by today's standards. The very concept of a father was dubious as persistent monogamy was the aberration, not the rule. We are, after all, animals. In the age of caves and saber-tooths, marriage served no purpose. It is when tribes became cities that the institution became valuable.

43-I Will Not Walk a Mile in Your Bloody Shoes

43-I Will Not Walk a Mile in Your Bloody Shoes

Technology is neither virtuous nor evil. It is the concept that tools become increasingly useful. How we use the most powerful tools must be given the most consideration. The jackhammer of news, the precise number of dollars electoral free-speech costs, the leverage of lobbyists, the direction of research, all would be better for the world if the agenda was to better the people and the places, not the privacy and pocketbooks of the powerful. Beyond this corruption, there is a more formidable problem: the people too easily segregate into stubborn cliques and the Internet, the greatest of tools, invites us to deepen these circles into ever-reinforcing moats of collective defense. It's classic Group Think. From a secure position, we war against the persistent troublemaker as a unified collective. The cliché birds of a feather has never been more complex or real than it is today. And technology only amplifies the echo-chamber towards deafening levels.

Gay marriage sweeps the nation because a few short years ago the bigots woke and realized they intimately know someone who had been normal just yesterday. They were suddenly forced to face their cherished one with those noxious views. At this point, prejudice becomes untenable. Relationships change everything. An extreme example of this is how Jerry Lee Lewis (a KKK leader) became friends with Daryl Davis (a black man). Prejudice requires you avoid contact with those you hate because you might just get to know them; and then what?

Callings such as teachers, nannies, nurses, therapists, and clergy are seen heroes. Most are but these same professions attract pedophiles. We must scrutinize most those professions intrusted with our most valued assets – like our children. Police officers are no different. In fact, they should be held to an even higher standard because their influence is more than life or death but founded upon the very nature of our Union. They are sworn to uphold our Constitutional Rights amid the messiness of life. It is beyond a calling; like a soldier, it is a voluntary duty.

It takes a rare personality to be cop. Some want the glory or praise. Some want to help. Some want a paycheck and some want the power. Most are motivated by a combination of these, but for the sadistic narcissist, being a cop makes them the most important one in the room. Body cameras and training only work when employed. Good cops want them and use them; bad cops find them limiting and intrusive. I know many good people who carry the badge. It is for them that we must spend more effort identifying these outliers that cause so much trouble. In a world where fidelity is unquestioned, where the blue-line is reinforced by the support of official statements, these bad apples blend in and spoil the bunch.

An exhausted father stops breathing after constant harassment by petty procedure, enforcing a ban on selling singles cigarettes with a deadly choke-hold. A woman is framed for her own murder by her boyfriend dressed in blue. Suicide? A man reaches for his wallet. A youth with a sword flees and is shot repeatedly in the back. A girl tries to drive away. A young man in the subway. A boy plays with a gun. Rodney is stopped for speeding. Is there a chronic pepper-spray shortage I'm not aware of? Overwhelming force is the primary tool of the conqueror, not the ambassador.

When will the tally end? When will it even take it's foot off the pedal? Departments protect their officers in the name of anyone carrying a badge in “those situations” as if by their nature those moments make it okay to fire first. This is a mistake. Why? Because mindful hesitation is a good thing. Each of my examples are in stark relief, white lies to black truths. Deadly force is the last resort. Being alert and safe is the opposite of aggressive and myopic. Cops are not warriors. They keep the peace. They cannot do this from an adversarial position. In fact, their greatest asset is the people's trust and respect. To label a person is to rob them of their humanity. There are no bad guys, only bad behavior, stemming from bad situations. And no matter how bad the behavior, you cannot physically attack someone with their hands up regardless of what they just did or conceivably might do.

If you want the badge, you must understand you're entering a dangerous, stressful, fulfilling occupation, much like a soldier. Unlike a soldier, your tool is not a weapon but a vow to uphold the law, to be a shinny example of the law, and though that great act of humanity, enforce the law. Until we rid the ranks of the hot-heads and every officer crosses that blue line to greet the public they serve, the violence will never end. It is only when they walk in our shoes each and every time they interact with us, that they will be able to help us, help our communities. After all, it is their job. If you never know a cop you like and trust as do I, you'll never like or trust cops; they'll remain the cold, ugly scrutiny of authority. Effort is required on both sides but starts and ends with the badge and the gun – the volunteer. If you're not a level-headed, patient, detail-oriented, compassionate, physically-fit, people-person, do us all a favor and don't join the force. But if you are, understand the most beneficial career is one that connects with those it protects. There is no doubt we should pay you more, but ultimately, a good cop's greatest reward is doing good.

Wait. Find safety. Listen. Think. Act right when the time is right. Until then, continue to comprehend, communicate, and consider. Lives count on you remaining calm. After all, it is your duty to us.

42-Sweet Suicide

Sweet Suicide

Fat, salt and sugar: the trifecta of flavor. Why are they so good? Evolution. They are necessary to sustain life. But a little goes a long way and in the modern-age where they are ubiquitous, they have become poisonous. Certain fats in excess suppress the immune system; salt raises blood-pressure. But the most serious is sugar. To ignore the sugar threat is to commit sweet suicide.

There are mountains of reasons why sugar is important. Fat and salt are the mortar and wires of our bodies but sugar is the energy of will. Studies show increased willpower directly results from a spike in brain glucose levels. Want the guts to ask for that raise? Follow Ronald Reagan’s lead and chew a jellybean. But sugar itself isn't energy. The mitochondria is an ancient parasite that lives in each of our cells and creates energy by transforming sugar into adenosine triphosphate – cellular batteries. Plug in a phosphate, break it off, and watch the cellular motor run. These fascinating little energy factories have their own DNA, passed through the generations via the mother's egg. Because it's found in fossilized bone, it has led to many scientific discoveries about human history. However, sugar's most vital role is forming the scaffolding of the DNA helix. Genes taste sweet.

Sugar is so heavenly because nature prioritizes this basic molecule. The primal feelings produced as it passes our lips create a kaleidoscope of chemicals in both brains – the one in our head and the one in our gut. Yes, we have a brain in our belly; gut feelings are more than mere metaphor. Neurotransmitters such as serotonin are produced and stockpiled here. Serotonin is directly connected to mood. Serotonegics (aka anti-depressants) attempt to regulate levels by either adding serotonin or interfering with the brain's ability to reduce its concentration (re-uptake inhibitors). The brain in the gut is the stage on which the brain in the head acts upon. What our gut wants our head gets. We think something sounds good when in reality the guy in the basement has issued a formal request for supplies. A craving is hunger based upon specific elements. 

The sugar-cycle is not terribly complex. It involves two hormones: insulin and leptin. High insulin levels equals hunger. High leptin levels equals full. When blood-sugar levels rise, insulin levels rise, moving sugar into cells for energy production or storage (body fat). When our blood-sugar drops, we get hungry, eat, and leptin is produced. In a healthy body, it remains in the blood-stream until it's time to eat again. The Vagus nerve transmits a signal from the brain, to the pancreas, producing insulin and creating hunger. The process of refining carbohydrates into sugars for use in the body is fundamental to health. Too much, too pure, too fast overwhelms and cripples the equipment, leading to diabetes. So it's all about the rate of refinement and fiber is the key. Fiber is the filter. There are two kinds of fiber: soluble and insoluble. They work together to create an effective delivery system. 

The strongest materials have opposing parts: flexible and inflexible. Consider a toucan’s beak. This bird is capable of sporting such a formidable tool because of the combination of two, light-weight materials with very different properties. The hard outside is a thin, fragile sheet like an egg-shell. The inside is soft and smash-able like Styrofoam. Separately, a child can trash either. But together, the strongest of men will not make a dent. 

Fiber also comes in two parts. Soluble is soft, spongy, sticky. It's everywhere (think dietary fiber). Insoluble is tough, ridged, connected. It's in raw fruits and vegetables; but once frozen, processed, or exposed to prolonged heat it becomes soluble. It isn't enough to 'eat our fiber.' We must also pay attention to the type. Cavemen had plenty of insoluble fiber but found fat, salt and sugar challenging – hence, our desire. The modern diet has flipped the ratio with plenty of the trifecta but little of the other. 

By industrializing its availability, we transformed sugar from a treat to a staple; the '80s only made it worse. When mullets and stretch-pants were considered fashionable, experts made the erroneous, yet logical, conclusion that eating fat makes us fat. We didn't want to be fat. We wanted bronzed abs. So we replaced fat with salt and sugar. Bad idea. That just made us "fatter" and hypertensive. Now we know ingested fat must be turned into sugar in order to become fat. On the other hand, ingested sugar just becomes fat.

When we trick the brain with zero calorie sweeteners, we turn-on the Vagus, create insulin, and transform whatever calories are in the blood-stream into fat. The remaining insulin stokes our hunger which means we eat sooner and with a more sensitive palette, demanding richer food. Sugar-free is the ultimate cognitive-dissidence as it incurs a greater toll yet does not satisfy. Without satisfaction, we repeatedly return until we are sick.

Changing the way we eat is like pushing a bolder. We will spend eighty-percent of our effort getting the mass to move but only twenty-percent to keep it going. Feeling bad and not knowing why perpetrates the cycle. Feeling good and knowing why perpetrates the cycle. It takes resolve and interest to feel good. It is more than resisting a piece of cake. It takes understanding the chemistry of mood and the mastery of the insulin-leptin cycle. A simpler lifestyle moderates the modern-day dragon that is the abundance of fat, salt but especially sugar. 

41-The Silent Fraud of the Supreme Court

Fraud is a deception deliberately practiced in order to secure unfair or unlawful gain – Wikipedia.

What is the fraud of the Supreme Court's non-ruling ruling? What unfair or unlawful gain did they secure? What is the deception?

Total marriage equality is the future. Any attempt to sew doubt is deception. Delaying equal rights is unfair and unlawful. With their silence, the Justices placate the plaintiffs – those who claim marriage equality causes harm. Their gain is temporary reprieve (e.g. Idaho), but at what cost? If the Supreme Court had instructed the states to follow the precedence set by the federal courts until real harm could be shown through due process, legalization could have been assumed in all fifty states. Instead, we continue to slog through the mire, building a perfect union state by state. The fundamental right to form and define one's family both socially and legally, has been expanded but remains exclusive.

The ruling was correct. But without comment they leave the door open and delay justice. Justice delayed is justice denied. Many will suffer despite the court upholding the lower courts rulings. Bigotry and hatred are not discouraged in the dwindling outliers. Without a clear voice, there is no directive to protect, no standard to enforce. Those desperate to fight the sunrise remain blind to reason and compassion. Until justice blankets the whole of our union, those of conscious share the suffering of the excluded. Until this vague limbo ends, the fraud doubles-down by forcing upon the victim the duty of their own liberation. Imagine refusing to refund the astronomical bail paid by the falsely accused. All the resource and time required to render the exhausting ladder of court-rulings necessary to free the People will be the sole burden of the advocate and taxpayer. This ruling feels like an army in defeat, scorching the land in retreat.

The very idea states can carve-out segments of citizens for the sole purpose of excluding them from the rights all others enjoy is unconstitutional in its very conception. Future favorable rulings by federal courts will make prolonged stays upon appeal less appealing. The growing consensus means judges will have less reason to delay justice. But will they ever rule in favor of intolerance? What is the counter-argument? Setting aside the outlandish, hyperbolic attempts to connect the issue with bestiality, pedophilia, polygamy, etc., the idea traditional marriage value is degraded by marriage equality because marriage will no longer be the ideal or preferred situation for heterosexual couples is absurd, as if straight people will lose interest in marriage. Marriage has value. It is a legal contract, recognized by legal institutions that allows people to determine the definition of their family, a legally-binding institution. Without the right of writ, family rights are not recognized.

The fact that the court did not sit on this illuminates the closed-door negotiations. I imagine that the just side asked for no delay in announcing the outcome but in return capitulated with their silence. Whatever, at least they stuck to one aspect of their branch's core: timely resolution of constitutional conflict. Because there was no conflict, the Court gave deference to unanimous consent. The suggestion of Utah's Governor that they didn't look at the cases is an insult to the Court. It wasn't that they didn't look at them but they couldn't find the conflict necessary to require their consideration. They may never rule on the issue. Instead, they may eventually issue something binding. Even if they never say another word, their silence cannot stop the inevitable. This petty victory by the wrong side of the Court is an injury that will thankfully not be suffered by coming generations.

What this boils down to is the ability for all citizens to enter into the contract of marriage with all of its inherit rights, privileges, benefits, and costs. There was a time when only white men of age and means could enter into contract. Times change. Minds change. People grow old and die. Those who oppose this have no standing. Their efforts are doomed to pass away as they fade away. But how long will they drag this out? How much suffering will they be responsible for? Where does the dark hole of their hatred end? With all their platitudes of religious compassion, is it any wonder they may never own up to the damage their actions have created? They cannot maintain the mystique of charismatic piety while simultaneously admitting to this brutal injury. When they realize their error, will we be surprised should they blame everything under the sun except themselves?

It is ironic those most vicious, most set against marriage equality, are those first to deal with its reality. Having its own constitutional amendment barring marriage equality struck down, Utah is the home of the Mormon Church, the impetuous behind prop eight in California. Here's an idea: maybe the greatest advocates for marriage equality are the opponents. How? Consider that the greatest engine of change is the purity of the opposition's swift assault. If they had spent more effort slowing the process instead of going for the jugular with constitutional amendments, we may have reached this same point in the twenty-twenties. Could it be that their unabashed vitriol vastly accelerated the progress? It's debatable; the fact they are the first to feel the change isn't. May they accept reality and realize their marriage is not failing because two guys in Baltimore just got hitched. Their marriage is failing because they can't make it work.

40-I'm So Glad You Don't Have A Dog

I'm So Glad You Don't Have A Dog

by Jaxon Cohen

I've never said this to anyone who admits they don't have one, but much of the time, I'd like to. Although this post is a celebration of the dog, it is tailored for those considering ownership.

Dogs are amazing. Along with the horse, they are key to our evolution from cavemen to modern-men. They are the only land animal that understands the concept of pointing. Without training, a chimp will not understand you, pointing at a bucket of food. All it sees is a human with its arm raised and finger extended. Dogs get it from the get-go. Plus, no one reads the complexities of a human face better. One look into your eyes and they got you; they know you from friend or foe. But the cliché is limited. Sometimes on a personal level, the dog just doesn't like you. That's when its time to relax and bring treats. But please, first get the owner's permission.

Dogs do crazy-cool things. For instance, take a look at their wagging tail. Many believe it means “happy to see you.” They are only half right. And I literally mean right. Research shows they will tend to wag to the right if they are happy. Now if they are anxious, it will be more to the left. And why do they walk in circles before they poop? Again, research shows they are aligning themselves to the magnetic poles – totally useful if you're lost.

Dogs guide our way, pay close attention to our feelings, know when we are ill, protect us from threats, provide comfort to the sick, find food, rescue us from peril, share in our sports, find our way home, catch criminals, herd livestock, posses an intuition that boarders on magic, remain by our side, and die with honor. But the most miraculous thing is their unconditional love for us.

The American Dream consists of a house, white picket-fence, green grass, and a dog to enjoy it all with. But the dog's dream is different. Dogs dream of one thing: an engaged, attentive, loving, effective master. I use the word master intentionally. Dogs derive security and confidence from their alpha, their owner. Their brains are constructed to succeed within a well-ordered hierarchy. In order to do that, they must feel well-placed. Puppies are great fun but adolescents are willful. Owners who do not know how to assert themselves early in their dog's life will forever make the claim that they had the bad luck of getting a bad dog. Enter reality-TV. For the most part, these shows do an effective job illustrating specific solutions to common problems. But overall, the kernel of their work is not with the dog but the owners. Dogs don't hold grudges and adapt quickly to best-practices.

Training a dog is simple. Training yourself to be an effective master is not. There are guidelines. Use the same simple sharp sounds as commands. Don't plead. Remain stoic until success and then praise lavishly. Never punish; instead reinforce, both positively and negatively. Understanding the difference between negative reinforcement and punishment can be difficult for some. Consider this: negative is denying the carrot while positive is giving it; punishment is the stick. Punishment is more than physical; it's emotional. And angry screams can be as devastating as violent contact. Remember, the ultimate reward a dog will ever have is your genuine praise. Far too many people get a dog before they are emotionally ready. They want the dream and the dog is part of it. Dogs are not mantelpieces. Dogs are people too and require effort. If you want a dog, you must be ready for a profound relationship; until you are, wait.

Dogs require exercise. The best-trained dog becomes unruly without it and it's amazing how well they listen with it. Tying-up your dog in the backyard for six-hours doesn't count, no matter how long the chain. We spend eight hours a day at work. If you do not have a minimum of eight a week to walk around the neighborhood, this isn't right for you.

Dogs require space. Enough room in your home and access to open areas are non-negotiable. Allowing them in bed and on furniture is your call; be consistent. When it comes to a crate, spend a minute in one with that depressing view before you ask your dog to spend hours and hours each day in a box without escape. On the other hand, certain situations require a crate for their security and make them part of the deal. Make sure yours allows for freedom of movement.

Dogs require attention. If you don't have time to simply sit and pass the day with your dog, don't get one. Dogs also require the right kind of attention. If you have no experience training an animal, if you've never taken a class, then you don't know what you're doing and shouldn't own a dog until you do. If you must have a pet now, cats are good practice (or maybe try a fish).

Some people don't have the capacity for ownership. “Thank you,” if you're wise enough not to get one. Neglected, unsupervised, malnourished, filthy, neurotic animals are a tragedy and can cause problems. Be honest with yourself. Wait. Do your research. Find a vet. And prepare for the unpredictable. They're a joy but they need stuff and when they die, they'll rip your heart out. So think about it before you make the commitment and until then, I'm so glad you don't have a dog.

39-Death panels part 10

39-Death panels, advanced directives, a dream, and a miracle

by Jaxon Cohen

Part 10: The Miracle

Despite the rat poison, despite the ICD, despite the pneumonia, despite my inadequacies, in the end the hospital’s Pasture would say, “Jaxon, that was the most peaceful passing I’ve ever seen.” Why? Pure luck? Pure fate? Pure preparation? None of the above? All I know is that if it were left up to the law or technology, she would have said something else. Imagine, my whole life is crumbling before my eyes. I am standing next to his dying body, prepared with his documents to precede to the last stage when the doctors refuse to end the end. In spite of the dream’s warning, I was struck out of the blue for the second time. What was the first? The infection itself. My father did not shown a single symptom of even a slight cold let alone full-blown pneumonia prior to the crash. The day before, the day after the dream, he appeared as healthy as he’d been that year.

Well, there was the one incident a few weeks prior. A simple contagion sent him to the ER for a catheter and some antibiotics. They checked him out. They listened to his lungs, took his temp, his pressure, etc. Other than the localized pathogen, he was fine and quickly recovered. But I often wonder if this wasn't the hidden trigger. Could the month long treatment of antibiotics have suppressed the native bacterium in his lungs to a point where invasive species turned those impacted layers of aspirated material into a conflagration of disease?

When I took the oxygen from him, after we said our goodbyes, he passed just as in the dream. Only reality is complicated, persistent, and infinity messy. Surrounding my father’s deathbed were lawyers, administrators, doctors, my doctor friend, and the Pasture. As the interval between breaths reached past seconds, the lawyers had the doctors tell me that the ICD keeping his heart going would not be turned off because the durable power of attorney my father created was inadequate: one or two words were missing in one or two places. Because he failed to include any mention of a specific medical directive within the document, the lawyers did not feel comfortable allowing the tech to turn off the ICD on my behest until all of his eleven surviving children were contacted and contracted with consent.

If that thing had been at full power, I can't imagine the Frankenstein-like horror as the paddles of this mindless, miniature, medical robot repeatedly jolted my father in and out of existence without the humanity to simply let go. It had one job: keep my father's heart beating. How long could the shifting have lasted? To be honest, I've never really thought it through because reality was different. As the crowd hotly discussed the limits of their positions, I vaguely remembered the doughnut-shaped magnet, stuck to the refrigerator, and quietly wished I had it. In this moment, I would have relished fulfilling my original role: deactivate the faulty unit.

Then the miracle. “Wait,” the tech said. “Yes,” the doctor confirmed. “What?” I questioned. “Jaxon, your father has passed,” the Pasture said.

My dad was a noble, honorable, diligent attorney but a far better father to me and I only hope I served him well as a devoted son. He couldn’t protect us in that last moment because of recent changes to the law and my inability to see the value in a simple magnet. The best of a great man was not good enough. What happened that day was a wonderful mysterious coincidence, or if you will, a miracle. That battery died years before it should have. Was it faulty? If so, then this was one time when a serious cooperate mistake became a blessing instead of a lawsuit.

Of course, those were different days, before Washington created an avenue for standardized, results-oriented care. Large employers provide healthcare because it's good for the bottom-line; less sick people equals more profit. The government is the institutional body that represents every American and protects every person in America. It only stands to reason that it is in the best interest of the government to have a healthy populous. Why? Less sick people means more revenue.

When we have accesses to effective resources, we don't have to rely on miracles. If you are not as lucky as my father and me to suddenly win a battle you never saw coming, an up-to-date durable, medical power of attorney and an advanced directive negotiated with your healthcare provider to insure all the right words are present in the right order, will go a long way to provide peace of mind when you or someone you love walks the final path. Healthcare is required because we all have a body and are liable when it eventually breaks down and dies. What we do with our healthcare is our choice; we can take advantage of the resources my father and I lacked, or not.

As a caregiver, I had no healthcare of my own. Now I do.